We Don’t Communicate! During the initial couples counseling session I ask the couple about the problems they are experiencing in their relationship. Most couples state the following: “we don’t communicate!” Since it’s impossible not to communicate what they mean is that they are dissatisfied with the way they are communicating. This results in marital stress and dissatisfaction.
SCABS-In order to improve your communication it is important to remove all negativity from what you say. Relationships begin to improve when a couple removes the scabs from their communication.
Sarcasm-whoever is on the receiving end of sarcasm hears this message; “You’re stupid!”
Criticism- when is the last time you heard this reply to criticism; “Thank you for being critical of me!”?
Attacks- these often begin with globalizations; “You always…or you never…”
Blaming- when you point the proverbial finger at your partner the accusation is “It’s your fault!”
Shaming- is a message of being less than and infers that “You aren’t good enough.”
Words for the Wise- In my Christian counseling I turn to the letter of James which provides wise counsel on the practical matters that build relationships. This is wise counsel.
“A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke…” James 3:4-6
Within a few sessions, most in couples counseling with me report that they have learned to stop “scabbing their partner” and that they have begun communicate again.If you desire to improve your communication and enrich your relationship you can call me at 678-467-4909 or email me from my website nealkuhlhorst.com. I serve Alpharetta, Duluth, Johns Creek, Suwanee as well as the greater Metro Atlanta Area.